ALONE WITH THE CROWD

Before global warming, climate shift, green initiatives and even before Corona vaccine. The biggest need of the hour is – catharsis!

World has talked enough about mental health, depression, need of opening up, etc. World has also talked enough about peer pressure, patriarchal influence on current generation & feminism. But has world really ‘talked’? Confused? Let me put it into perspective. Looking at the current scenario, excluding the impact of Corona and lockdown, we have got a really intrinsic lifestyle. When we say intrinsic, it doesn’t necessarily means introverted. Many of us who are quite outgoing and extroverted in their behavior and approach, somewhere lack in ‘being talked to’.

But what do I mean when I say ‘talking’? We talk all day long. Yes, that’s true. Whether we’re in accounting, marketing, media, journalism, IT or HR. We talk all day long. Be it with the clients, with our bosses, with our colleagues etc. This doesn’t end at work. Coming back home, we talk to our partner, roommate, parents, siblings etc. So technically, we talk whole day long. But how many of us have that feeling of void when we hit our bed (sober – pun intended)?

Well, a lot of us maybe. We never feel contended even after speaking or talking all day long. We have that urge of calling someone and telling them how we really felt that day. Even when we’ve bitched about our bosses to the colleague, we still want to share the same incident with someone else. Someone who’s closer to us, someone we can openly talk to. So, the question is:

Even after talking all day – why do we have that urge of ‘being talked to’?

To crack this, we need to first understand the basic human behavior and how has it has metamorphosized with changing times. Man/ woman is a social animal. We’ve read and heard it a lot of times. What does that mean? It means that a human being needs another human being to survive and its impossible for him/ her to live in solitarily. I am excluding the ones who have achieved ‘nirvanah’ and have given away the need of being dependent on anyone or anything.

For rest of us who live in a predefined model of society and work, we need people around us. Or else we start withering off! Well, not physically – but certainly psychologically. This worn out feeling is what’s termed as ‘depression’. The feeling of constant negativity, that pit in the stomach and hole in the chest. When someone doesn’t understand the reason behind them constantly feeling sad. When sleeping, eating & at it worst case – intoxication becomes a rescue.

What’s the real cause of depression, anxiety & loneliness?  

Is it the heartbreak that we’ve just gone through? Is it because our boyfriend/ girlfriend doesn’t understand what we need? Is it because our parents don’t get the fact that there are other orientations than just being straight? Is it the promotion that we’ve been working for last 1 year goes to another person? Is it because we don’t have enough funds in the account to pay the rent or the loan installment? Is it because we hate my job but can’t leave it due to the family obligations?   

The answer is, NO! A person never goes into depression due to any of such external factors. The only reason we feel alone in a room full of people is because we’ve stopped ‘talking’ to people. Here ‘talking’ means having a real conversation. The one which is not done to judge the other person. The one which’s devoid of any preconceived notions about life. The one which is not done expecting a listening ear in return. The conversation where we have an intention of actually listening to the other person. Where we have a sense of empathy and respect. When we intent to just listen to the problems or opinions of other person, without passing a judgment or comment to it.

We have stopped listening and just want to be heard. Which is why the social media platforms are a big hit!

Because that’s the perfect place to make people listen to or see your opinions without having a realistic reaction. This is where the urge of being actually listened to rises. We are human beings and we are emotional creatures. Regardless of the gender, we need an emotional connect to our audience, friend, girlfriend/ boyfriend, spouse, parents etc.

Before global warming, climate shift, green initiatives and even before Corona vaccine. The biggest need of the hour is – catharsis!

We need to become sensitive towards others, towards the people in need. The need could be anything – emotional, physical, psychological, monetary, social, medical, etc. We need to develop a sense of sympathy for others. The first step is to LISTEN to them. When someone comes and sits beside you with a confused and stressed face, try to talk to them. It’s actually strange to believe, but people feel comfortable sharing their issues with complete strangers as they don’t come with a baggage of situations and past experiences. This gesture might make you prevent the loss of a life from depression and anxiety!

Life’s too short to be only lived for success, fame & wealth, and world’s too small to be judged on the grounds of family & strangers.

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